Photoshoot with Jualez

My favorite number is seven so it only seemed natural to take a picture next to exit 7 of my sister's school. These photos were all taken after/during picking up my sister from school. Maybe we should name this Babe in the Playground. I've been listening to Marcy Playground all day by the way so don't mind me. The photographer was my long running friend JuanCarlos Gonzalez/Jualez.blogspot.com. This was the first time I ever modeled for something and although it was very awkward to get into it at first it was tons of fun and I guess I got better the longer we were there. Note: I do not intend on pursuing professional modeling.I'm too thick around the hip-thigh area anyway and would feel horrible if I was put in the "plus size" category even though I wear size 4 dresses.

Also during the photos, I guess me talking calmed me down a lot. My mouth is open or I'm smiling because I was ranting about this girl I don't like but will make sure to keep tight lipped on who I was talking about. My paranoia may have receded a bit for me to talk so freely out in the open. Juan is also practicing and creating a portfolio, and he took a beautiful picture before we started that I totally fell in love with. I'm not sure if I'll be in it, but I'm glad I helped out anyway. He thanked me for being so photogenic and for being his model so I feel like I got some good credit there hehe.

To talk about traumatizing photo experiences, or something of that sort, I've always had very low self esteem so this pretty much boosted it by me being told I was pretty. Being told by people that weren't men of all ages and races trying to get in my pants. I've always stared at myself in the mirror and took tons of pictures of myself. Not because I was conceited, but because I thought I was so ugly, I needed to keep looking in the mirror to prove it and see if I magically turned any less unattractive within the past 10 seconds of me taking the last picture. I also found myself doing that today on the bus, but kind of to check if my make up made me look okay or not. Well, most women suffer from this anyway. My self esteem hightened sometime between 15 and 16, maybe in those few milliseconds between June 7 11:59pm and June 8 12:00 am. Or maybe that's just when I stopped feeling it so bad because I was literally putting tests on my body to see whether my figure would fill out up top if I gained weight. To my dismay, it didn't- my hips and arms just got bigger, so I started slowly losing the weight I had purposely put on. Okay, no more of this narcissism. Thanks for reading/skimming/viewing. More props to Juan. xoxo.

P.S. I have a big head