Obligations

I've got no time for anything yet here I am in the worst state of minds ranting about my problems. I can't come to bare "OK let's stop ranting and do something about this". Let me just blow off some steam, since I'm trapped wherever I am.

"Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains"
-Jean Jaques Rousseau

The concept of time seems like something that I just cannot quite grasp. I don't feel as though I have any time for myself, or enough time for anyone in particular. Yet all my time is spent either wallowing in my mind (I have a tv but seldom watch it) or doing things to try to please others. I spend 3 hours on a bus daily with the horrid stench of unsanitary people. Oh, how I love NYC public transportation. I spend hours of my time taking care of children that I would prefer to hold no responsibility for. If I wanted kids, I would have had them myself. Honestly, I don't know why I resent them so much.
The thing that has been bothering me the most is the fact that I can't do any of my interests. I want to dance, draw, paint, write, design, construct, and be proactive in my time in theater but because of today I feel that may be at stake. I hate how I lack motivation and lack of movement. Bind me up and let a spider suck me dry instead.