How does it feel to be loved from a distance?
I'm sending you messages corked tightly in a bottle
Long away from the other sides of the seas
With the pleas of a thousand beggars asking for their fix
Oh well, I think I stated my point already.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
I know what it is...
To be lonely.
Today at the dentist I met this boy that was doing my teeth x-rays. He was just my age but he worked as that, his excuse was "I'm just a beast!" All we had in common was our age, but he kept talking and talking to me about how he has been here for about 4 weeks and talked about how boring it was in his home down south in some city I don't know. He told me that his family came up and they were there around 5:30 am, but i didn't have a story to tell him. I felt like I was omitting myself from the conversation. Instead I laughed, and smiled, but had no smart retorts. I was his friend for the twenty minutes we spoke, and I felt a little bad almost that I couldn't be his friend longer, although I am very skeptical of having friends, or giving people my phone number.
Later on at work I met an old woman who was buying 14.99 dollar sandals. she tried to joke with me about how it would be amazing if someone just came up to her one day in the winter inviting her to a cruise. She repeated it two or three times, with only a smile for applause.
It wasn't until a few minutes later that my heart sank for how mean I was being to her. I know how it feels to try to talk to a stranger when all you are doing is being kind or trying to pass the time in this lonely world with a smile or a quick companionship. Why was I being so cold hearted? These two people just needed someone to talk to, and feel friendly, the balloon blowing from your heart when you know that you have made someone happy and it makes you genuinely happy. Maybe the fact that despite all of the attempts of friendship and kindness there is always that anger and hatred in the world that grows inside of people over time, until it is a large emmassed oak in the forest of humans in the world.
Today at the dentist I met this boy that was doing my teeth x-rays. He was just my age but he worked as that, his excuse was "I'm just a beast!" All we had in common was our age, but he kept talking and talking to me about how he has been here for about 4 weeks and talked about how boring it was in his home down south in some city I don't know. He told me that his family came up and they were there around 5:30 am, but i didn't have a story to tell him. I felt like I was omitting myself from the conversation. Instead I laughed, and smiled, but had no smart retorts. I was his friend for the twenty minutes we spoke, and I felt a little bad almost that I couldn't be his friend longer, although I am very skeptical of having friends, or giving people my phone number.
Later on at work I met an old woman who was buying 14.99 dollar sandals. she tried to joke with me about how it would be amazing if someone just came up to her one day in the winter inviting her to a cruise. She repeated it two or three times, with only a smile for applause.
It wasn't until a few minutes later that my heart sank for how mean I was being to her. I know how it feels to try to talk to a stranger when all you are doing is being kind or trying to pass the time in this lonely world with a smile or a quick companionship. Why was I being so cold hearted? These two people just needed someone to talk to, and feel friendly, the balloon blowing from your heart when you know that you have made someone happy and it makes you genuinely happy. Maybe the fact that despite all of the attempts of friendship and kindness there is always that anger and hatred in the world that grows inside of people over time, until it is a large emmassed oak in the forest of humans in the world.
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